Exhibitionist Cats
by Makayla
Summary: Yoruichi really is ever-so-slightly saddistic and poor Ichigo is about to get the full brunt of her attacks. Crack IchiYoru. Please enjoy :D!


Exhibitionist Cats

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm Kubo Tite...a la femme... of course

(b)(l)(e)(a)(c)(h)

"YORUICHI!" the orange-haired shinigami jumped about a metre into the air, "PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!" He yelled at her. Unfortunately for him the dark-skinned woman found the situation she was in far more amusing than embarrassing and laughed at him.

"Kisuke," she finally took pity on the boy (somewhat, it was also getting a bit cold), "would mind fetching my clothes please? It would appear that I'm making li'l Ichigo uncomfortable," she finished with a wicked cat-like smirk

"Of course not," the shopkeeper replied with a fox grin that even Ichimaru Gin would envy- although whether this was due to Ichigo's discomfort or the fact that there was an attractive woman standing in the middle of the backroom, completely naked, was unknown. With a final glance at the red-faced teen, Urahara quickly bustled out of the room, trying to hide his chuckles behind his fan.

He failed miserably.

"That's always going to work on you isn't it?" Yoruichi stated with a chuckle, Ichigo chose to ignore her, instead staring resolutely at the wall, muttering under his breath about crazy, sadistic shopkeepers and their exhibitionist cats, "hmm?" the

God of Flash inquired curiously. She suppressed a giggle as he stiffened, realising that her voice had moved closer

"What are you doing?" he asked angrily

"Well, there's a rug in front of you, so I thought I might use that until Urahara gets back- he doesn't keep his rooms very warm does he?" She answered reasonably, but there was something in her tone that unnerved him. He looked up at the aforementioned rug and quickly realised that if she went and got it she'd be in front of him…naked…

With that thought in mind, he all but shunpōed to where the rug lay innocently folded. He grabbed the offending piece of fabric and thrust it blindly behind him, ignoring the purple-haired woman as she chuckled

"Thank you," Yoruichi teased as she took it from him, "there all done!" she added once she had it wrapped around her

Ichigo, however, didn't trust her and glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure she was, indeed, covered before he turned to face her, his arms crossed angrily across his chest. This proved to be a mistake as soon as he had settled because just as he did the cloth fell suspiciously from her finger. He yelped (a very manly yelp obviously) and rapidly jumped back around, blushing so furiously, his face could have camouflaged itself in Renji's hair.

"Oops," Yoruichi apologised with false innocence, "it slipped."

"The hell it did!" Ichigo growled wrathfully, still blushing.

Yoruichi laughed again before answering, "there all fixed now," this time Ichigo refused to turn, "you know, it's refreshing to meet a man as innocent as you but still…it kinda makes me wonder…" if Ichigo had turned round he would have been able to see the gleeful smirk meandering across her face

Ichigo glared at the wall as a substitute for the shape-changer," what's that suppose to mean?" he growled in frustration

"Ever thought that maybe you just don't like women?" she asked sweetly

"I am not gay!" He yelled at her as he jumped around (for the third time)

"Really, why don't you prove it?"

Ichigo spluttered for a second before finding a suitable reply, "how am I supposed to do that?" he exclaimed

"How about a kiss?" she asked in the same sweet tone

"What! No way!"

"Guess that means you are gay then…" Ichigo snarled and thrust himself forwards. His lips landed forcibly on her own and he could feel the self-satisfied smirk stretched lazily across them. She flicked her tongue over chapped skin and the tormented all but threw himself across the room to get away

"There! You happy?" He yelled at her to hide his embarrassment, but the redness of his cheeks betrayed him. Yoruichi did nothing but smile and stormed from the room as fast as he could without actually running. As he did Urahara re-entered the room, a bundle of clothing beneath one arm, his face a little reproachful.

"That was cruel," he chided her as he passed over the clothing. Yoruichi smirked again as she slipped them over her body.

"I know," she replied happily.


End file.
